You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.

This year's Christmas season rushed by in a blurrrrrrr.

Party after party, gifts piling up on the desks, well-wishes via hugs and SMSes, precious moments filled with joy and love.... thank goodness for cameras to capture the memories.

Miss Santa Samantha & I @ FX Christmas party

crazy times with Henry's new camera

partayyying on the dance floor~~

So after company christmas party on Wednesday, relatives gathering for our traditional Christmas Eve dinner cum gift exchange, and hanging out with friends at ECP on Christmas day, we rounded off the Christmas fun-fare with our own little family gift exchange on Sunday evening. Just us. All 10 of us.

Priceless. <3

The mountain of gifts under the Christmas Tree was formidable. Our youngest member, Avril, signaled the start of the exchange by ripping into her gift.

Tom & Ben got cool matching OP tees from Mom!

A sweet bag for a sweet gal

WAN-HUNDRED COLOR PENS!!! From Tom! To me! *screams*

The camera was snapping non-stop as we opened gift after gift, but my die-die favorite picture of the night, after the delighted yelling from various corners of the room had died down, has to be of the six of us siblings and Amber in Dive-Junkie tees, our present to ourselves!:):):)

Christmas Day and the story behind it, that of the perfect Author of love sending a Savior to us, has been brightly glossed over by commercialism and Santa Clause, but the true spirit of Christmas-the spirit of giving in love, remains a warm glow in our hearts.

As Amy Carmichael said, "You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving."

Christmas will always be one of my favorite holidays of the year.

**She had a half-day at work, ate lunch with siao bai, baked lemon meringue pie, and is heading out for the New Year countdown shortly. Life is awesome**

The Perfect New Year's Resolution: reaching office EARLY

The last few days had something worrying me.

Despite my setting the alarm clock at 6:30AM every morning from Monday to Friday, my sleepy head had not been registering it and was instead waking me up at precisely 7:20AM. Imagine the horror of flinging your eyes open to realize that you’re just getting out of bed about twenty minutes just before the time that you’re supposed to be leaving the house for office!

So last night I declared to myself that I was going to make sure I woke up ON TIME. No matter that it was 2AM, last time I checked. Work was of the priority here.

As a happy result, the whole of my short night's sleep was nagged by the subconscious thought. Hey, it’s probably getting to morning time already. It must be just a few more minutes to 6:30AM. Or did I already miss my alarm clock’s ring?

Dragging myself to consciousness, I forced my eyes open to squint at the time.

4:48AM.

Great. As my head dropped back onto the pillow, I managed to nudge myself mentally again, Don’t fall too deep asleep. You need to wake up on tiiiii…….zzz.

What felt like seconds later, I jerked myself out from a dreamless stupor and checked the time again.

6:24AM.

I groaned, and closed my eyes. Can close eyes for a short while only. DON’T FALL ASLEEP. You hear? Don’t fall asleep…

Finally my alarm clock rang. 6:30AM.

By the time it got to the time that I was supposed to wake up, I dragged it out, rebelliously enjoying a few more minutes of luxury before actually getting out of bed.

Drama-mama aside, I was the first one from my department to reach office.

Mission accomplished.

Now if I can just ensure that the waking up on time stays intact, I think things will be just fine.

The recent sleep-ins in the mornings over the holiday long weekends must be really screwing up my pineal gland.

**She realized anew why she likes the Fast & Furious movies so much - the speed of a beautiful sports car is just intoxicating...**

I wanna see you work it work it work it out now

Well, these work-out 'stuff' happened a few weeks back, (which makes it feel like ages ago that it happened) but I'm only just now getting time to post them, so I figured I might as well do it now

rather than not. Quickly though. I'm not worried that it's 2:30AM in the morning. It's more the thought of looking like a panda or zombie tomorrow that's placing a little more speed to my flying fingers...

But then again... NEWS FLASH: I get to sleep in tomorrow! AGAIN! The luxury of a two-day-in-a-row-can-sleep-in occurrence comes so rarely that I totally have to take advantage of it, as Dave, Kim, and I have reiterated enough times today over high-fives and cheers.

So. Enough beating around the bush.

*Rewind memory tape three weeks back*

Date: 5 Dec 2009

Location: Chua Chu Kang Sports Hall

Event: FX Badminton Challenge

For the first time in the history of Fuji Xerox Singapore, we are gathered for a company badminton challenge.

Chris, Martin & I, while awaiting our turns to play ball on the court.

Eveline from the Baddies team, serving

The spectators-cum-players who cheered the fighting teams supportively..

Heng Heng Team VS. The Baddies - camera, lights, ACTION!

After playing hard from 9:30AM to 1PM, everyone gathered for the final results and prize presentations.
Ah Pang won the Best Male Single Player award!
Timmy showing off his medal - his team made it to the top five!

It was tiring, challenging, & loads of fun :)

*Now fast-forward less than 24 hours ahead, skipping the visit to the country club with Doreen, rushing home to bake a cake for Mom, dinner, sleep, blah blah blah*

Date: 6 Dec 2009

Location: Outside Esplanade

Event: Standard Chartered Marathon

It is 7:00AM, and my supportive cheerleaders are all wide awake with me, giving moral support as I prepare for the 10KM run @ 8:30AM. :)

As Jaze and Tom were running the 21KM half-marathon at the same time (with their run starting @ 6:30AM), the three of us linked up in the last two KM where the roads blended together, and crossed the finish line 3 abreast. It threw my timing of 72 minutes off by a little, with a give and take of about 5 minutes, but it was worth the thrill of ending the race together. Believe me, it was an exhilarating moment.

On the back of our shirts, we were given a space to write some "words of encouragement" to the runners whom we overtake *ahem*. After throwing in and then throwing out ideas on some positive lines, I settled for my favorite two words - JIA YOU. It just seemed pretty fitting, given the occasion, ya know.

*checks the "Run the SCM 10KM Marathon" off To-Do List*

Oh, and you know what I found out?

Pushing yourself physically, no matter how long you have to crash later on to make up for it, is the way to go. Nothing beats the adrenaline rush, the mental cudgeling, the satisfaction.

**She hopes she can hide all the butterflies and nervous excitement behind a poker face tomorrow evening...Ok, scrap that. I'm freaking excited foot-stop.**

Because Life without Humor is like Bread without Jam.

I honestly don’t believe I could have survived this long in the office that I am in now, if it weren’t for the little moments of laughter that pop up here and there like some jack-in-a-box. You can’t begin to describe how REFRESHING it is to crack up over a sudden joke, or something hilarious that occurred, especially when the stress levels are constantly reaching new highs.

Like the other day when Lois imitated Peter’s “I got so many things to check leeee.”

Or when one of my crew called me about a delivery and in the background another of them was yelling, “Emily, are you single?”

Or when my shifu in office, reminding me that a student is supposed to make/buy tea for the master, quickly added hintingly, “but sake also can.”

Or when upon my telling my friend to cross fingers and eyes and toes, he replied, “Cannot! (if) cross (my) eyes, wait (they) get stuck..(and I) cross (my) toes cannot cause my toes are too fat!”

And of course, the best laughs are those pointed at yourself…so, kudos to the Em-only moments…

Like when my colleague asked me how to spell Kenneth, and I was so distracted with my work that I absentmindedly replied, “K-e-n-n-e-f.”

Or when I swirled the wine in my short glass cup this evening too hard so that some of it sprang out from the cup and onto the table. Seriously, it sprang out on its own. I swear I didn’t tilt my cup!

Ok, laugh all you want. It’s crazy, I know.

There are a zillion other mini-moments that happen every day which, if I were to record down, would take up way too much time and space. So instead, they’re all stored up in this jumble-mumble of a brain, and whenever in need of a laugh, I just need to go to the library and pull out a memory card to bring back a smile (and then have to wipe it off my face just as quickly as it comes, or risk people thinking me weird, like…why is that girl smiling to herself when she’s all by herself??).

Anyhow, good things including funny moments are always better when shared. (Which explains why my sis always gets hit by a torrent of stories every evening when we get home from work, thanks to yours truly’s eventful workdays.) So to all the laughter bugs of my day, I would like to say a big THANK YEW. You just kept another strand of my beloved hair from turning white.

And of course, thank you to all my wonderful friends too, old and new, who keep me sane by calling me to join them for chill outs after a crazy day at work:)

**She feels nitrogen-deprived...I miss my underwater home so so much!**

“I will change you, but on one condition.”

“What is it?”

“Marry me, Bella.”

The whole theatre was pin-dropping silent. In the darkness, everyone sat unconsciously holding their breath, anticipating Bella Swan’s reply.

Suddenly the screen flashed black.

A collective groan (when I say collective, think female population) arose from the audience as the lights flickered on and the credits start scrolling up the screen. Everyone slowly began rising from their seats to leave. "My gosh, there's abrupt and then there's abrupt," one gal said to her friend, running her hands through her hair in an act of releasing the pent-up tension.

There are love-hate reactions to this new Twilight sequel New Moon. I've heard people comment that "the movie sucked" but I really don't see a valid reason why. Perhaps if you entered the theater without preconceived notions on how such and such a scene should be or would be portrayed, you might enjoy it better? And even if you didn't, you don't have to go around bursting the bubble of anticipation of others who have yet to watch it, do you? It's not like the acting was pathetic, or anything. At the very least you cannot possibly have missed the poetic beauty in the graphics and the scenes...some of them were absolutely awesome!

It must be human nature, then. People just enjoy expressing their opinions on anything and everything. (It's true, I'm not lying. Why do you think this blog thingy even exists?) To those of you who haven't caught the movie, my advice is to set aside two and a half hours and watch it for yourself. If you have been looking forward to this sequel for so many weeks already, why should you let others' negative reviews bother you? Watch it with an open mind and enjoy the movie for what it's worth!

Although the plot is rather predictable, I for one think it an entertaining continuation to the Twilight story and liked how it turned out, despite the rather abrupt ending. Nevermind that there were oohs and ahhs from the fans of Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson whenever they appeared on the screen, New Moon was a confirmation that the directors made a good choice in getting Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan, the girl star of the movie.

While all three did a great job in their roles, her talent to express all the emotions of a teenager going through break up and confusing moments in life are well-showcased in this latest hit. From heart-broken, depressed girl to adrenaline junkie to her mad dash across the Italian Courtyard to save Edward, she is constantly caught in action.
The struggle Bella faces is that both Edward and Jacob can provide her a sense of security, a security so strong that you feel like as long as you are with him, nothing and no one can hurt you. You’re safe. When you have two guys fighting to protect the one they love, and that ONE happens to be the same person - YOU....what do you do?

Reality check: It’s usually the opposite in real life, unfortunately, with neither guy able to provide full security. But after all, you cannot expect so much out of a human. It's not like he's some vegetarian vampire or shape-shifter who might suddenly transform into a wolf, right.
Or what about loving someone so much you must decide to hurt that person now temporarily to prevent him or her from greater hurt in the future? It must be one of the hardest decisions to make in the world, the kind that you hope and pray you'll never have to make for real, because to hurt the one you love means hurting yourself 10 times more...
So if hurting the one you love is one of the hardest things in the world, then the next hardest thing would have to be watching the one you love be in love with someone else. NOT a nice feeling, to put it mildly, but a reality check is not needed for this one since just about everyone has experienced it firsthand atleast once. Does love mean letting go if you know that person is happier with someone else, or does it mean quietly holding on to the smallest hope and never giving up no matter what because no one knows what might happen in the future?

"Don't make me have to choose," Bella pleaded with Jacob.

The fairy tales always make it sound so simple: One Prince + One Princess = Happily Ever After, end of story. If only real life was that uncomplicated! It seems that only a fortunate handful can give credence to that equation. The rest of us are left to blunder through the maze of complicated friendships and broken hearts and love triangles, secretly hoping that Mr. Right will turn up soon on his white horse (preferably carrying a huge banner that proclaims HE's the right one, because it's just downright confusing trying to identify him in the crowd) and carry you far far away from the world of falling down, getting up, and falling again.

But for now, we are left to wait in the forest with Bella, weighing the options - her options, until the next sequel Eclipse arrives.

**She might have pushed herself a little too much over the weekend, but the aching muscles and satisfaction of an improved timing is totally worth it!**

Decisions, decisions...

Sometimes the longer you stare at a word, the more wrong it looks, and the more you wonder, Is my spelling really that off?

But I digress. That's besides my point.

This word in question has been hanging around at the back of my mind for the last few weeks.

Decisions.

It is something we deal with every day. Sometimes it is a difficult struggle between the heart and the head, deciding which should take dominance. Sometimes it is a question of ethics. Sometimes it may be something as simple as whether to sit the Viking Boat a second time.

Yet every choice I make, no matter how small or monumentous, will have an influence on my destiny. Just as the tiniest pebble dropped in still water will create ripples, so the smallest decision has a part in creating who I am and who I will become.

Sometimes the decision is not really a decision because you know exactly where you are headed. You know which path to take. You know what you want, and what you don't. It's pretty clear cut.

At other times, however, it feels like THIS.

Especially when you're talking about young and life-changing decisions.

There is no right or wrong in this case. Just a myriad of options, the various possibilities, the pros and cons, the horizon wide and endless before you, the knowledge that anything is possible if you are willing to try it, and then having to decide WHICH path you wish to try...

It puts you at the edge of a cliff. You don't know what lies before you. Ok, maybe you do know in theory the consequences that the choice will bring, but not in reality. It would be a leap of faith.

And for some - for ME - that's almost scary, because you also know that there's no turning back once you've chosen. You can't stay still in one place forever, you have to make a choice. And once the step is taken, you can only move forward. The bridges behind will be burnt and exist no longer.

And while you're at it, you might as well add in the fact that you are the ONLY one who can decide for you. Sure, you can get advice from mentors and those closest to you whom you respect. But ultimately, it is YOU who is at the road junction of your life. Not them.

Will I regret this choice? Is this the right time? Where would I go from here? What if I don't make it? What if I do?

Both ways, I won't know till I try, will I?

As my friend D likes to remind me, "Life is short. Play hard. If you don't even dare, then how to win?"

I know what I need to do, I know where I want to go. I don't welcome the added stress, but I know the new challenges will be good and a learning experience for me. It will definitely be a step FORWARD.

Now I just need to muster the courage to go through with the whole deal.

**She can't wait for the New Moon Marathon on Thursday night!**

Badminton Rackus.

Aching arms. Flat-out exhausted. Sore muscles. Drenched sports attire. Back aching. 3 hours of hard-core badminton.

I hadn't touched a badminton racket for years (not counting the night before when I was stroking shuttlecocks with Ben at 12 midnight to reacquaint myself), and suddenly last night I was thrown into a group of guys who have been practicing every week for years.

I'll like to think that I was forced into this, that having more than 5 different colleagues ask me to join their teams in light of the upcoming company's Badminton Challenge on 5 Dec changed my mind about skipping the sports event, that I had no choice but go tonight for a practice session with the other team members to prepare for that day...

But to be honest, I have only my colleague to thank for being the first one to ask me about making a team of doubles, and stirring my interest in that almost-forgotten sport, and letting me join the bunch of hard-core badminton folks who meet every Thursday after work to play.

It's crazily tiring and exhausting.. and yet it was REALLY fun! I feel like I'm just a beginner among all the experts (which isn't too far off from the truth, really) and I had so many kind "coaches" who gave me tips and helped me to improve the techniques of serving or returning the balls.

"Focus," they told me. "Keep your bat up, ready to catch any ball any time. Be in a half-crouching stance that is ready to move in any direction at any speed. Don't jump, let the shuttlecock fall towards you. Serve low so that they cannot return as a smack."

The cool part is that they are all inviting me and the other two 'new ones' to the group to join them again, as they meet every week.

The not so cool part is that my partner for the doubles just found out this morning that he has a training course on that Saturday, 5 Dec, which cannot be postponed. Which means that if I still wanna play on that day, I have to find another partner. Bummerations!

Well, see how it goes, then. At any rate, I sufficiently enjoyed myself last night to want to do it again! Just for the workout, I mean. The competition part is not realllllly a factor.

Now let's just hope the aching muscles get up on their feet again soon. You know, you never realize how many muscles you have until every single one of them aches all at once, each time you move. It's like, hey, I didn't even know I had a muscle there!

But yup, believe it or not, it's a good feeling. Shiok.

**She keeps smiling whenever she thinks about it.. randomity is meeting new friends who have actually been working in the same company as you for one and a half years and you never knew. Talk about BIG companies.**

3 Random Thoughts that Visited Today.

:: The words control and relationship should never be used in the same sentence. They don't belong together, methinks. Not unless you're talking about a breakup or an impending one.

:: The smallest hope ventures where reason dares not. But then again, love does not always consult common sense before taking the chance, so perhaps there is room for just a little hope...

:: Never make a promise you cannot keep. Give people the valuable gift of being able to trust what you say. Or at the very least, don't make enemies out of people by not standing by your word time and time again. Disappointment and Anger are willing advocates of Resentment, ma' dear.

Philosphy aside, I met some of my Bestis for an all-girls chillout on Sunday afternoon. It had been months since our last meet, and there were tons of things we needed to catch up on! So trust us to come up with an ingenious way of updating each other on the ins and outs of our busy, crazily jammed packed lives...

Kim, Deb, & I, having fun as usual

Sarah choosing her dessert, oh-so-seriously ;)

MOF @ Raffles City

Ice cream galore~~

I {heart} u, Deb :)

An interesting concoction...no wonder Sarah took so long to choose from her menu...

The sisters, Sarah & Leah, excited over their ice-creammmm

Deeb + Leah = crazy times

Kim & her Espresso Affocato (or something liddat)

Our gal times always ROCKZ!!!

So here we are. Our "Truth or Dare" Game. The Rules - Share a recent personal incident according to the colors chosen. DARK BLUE = a disapointing moment. BLACK = a mysterious secret. RED = matters of the heart. YELLOW = a happy memory. GREEN = something/someone that made you envious or jealous. And for ORANGE = (contribution from Leah) how about...a 'gay' moment?

Deeb & Kim officially kicked off the story telling time with Deeb's Russia Trip and Kim's Personal Details.

Leah sharing her heart out to attentive listeners

For each person, we got to choose one color, and the person had to spill the juicy details amid the laughter or sympathetic nods. It was F-U-N.

Deeb kept herself busy with interesting pics while we exchanged stories.

Sarah showed us pics of her recent Switzerland honeymoon....sweeeeeeetttt.

OUR table.

Poor S couldn't help falling in love with this awesome babe!;)

Lurve u gals :)

**It has been 10 days, and the nagging cough is still harrassing her. She is worried that it might not clear in time for her to properly train for the upcoming 10KM SCM...**