For the last few weeks, I have felt as if I were in a wrestling
match.
I have struggled
to find words to describe the emotional turmoil that has been churning inside.
I have struggled
to meet the high expectations of my bosses, and the even higher expectations I
have of myself.
I have
struggled with my loved ones, as we try to accept some of the unexpected curveballs which life has been throwing our way, things which no one has control over.
I have
struggled to balance my time between the things I NEED to do and the things I
WANT to do.
I have
struggled to breathe, to keep my head above the combined and sometimes
overwhelming stress of August show month and school assignments.
I have
struggled to fight fears and heartache, emotional repercussions to events.
I have
struggled to clamp down on the leaking pipe that is threatens to burst from within after
long rough days and even longer nights.
I have
struggled to maintain a positive outlook on rainy days, both literally and figuratively.
I even struggled
with writing this post.
Because, to be painfully honest...
it's not easy to admit that I'm struggling.
Everyone wants
to be the one who has it all under control... the one who strolls by other
madly rushing people, hand in pocket, smiling and carefree, whose life seems to
be so effortlessly smooth-sailing.
But the
truth is, it isn't always that easy. Reality
won't let anyone get away with a "free lunch."
We feel
pain, heartache, disappointment, stress, and fear, howbeit in varying degrees.... and we
have to understand that it is all a part of being human and living life.
The thing
is....
If we have
not experienced the pain of losing, we will not relish the triumph of winning.
If we do not
feel stress when trying, we would not appreciate the sweet release of success.
If we do not
face challenges, we will never see the need to rise to the occasion.
My big
boss's message to the sales force for this month has echoed Nike's theme:
FIND YOUR GREATNESS.
I watched the video of a little boy taking a
deep breath before jumping off the high platform into a swimming pool, and
another one of a young baseball player, handicapped but still playing - and
WINNING.
Both of them
struggled too with their own fears, just as I have been
struggling. But they overcame the barriers, and found
their greatness.
And I can will too.
I've survived
Hellweek last week and I'm into the last lap of August. At a time when we are counting down by the hours,
I have to stay focused on the goals which have been set for me.
When friends
ask me, "Are you alright?" I
always reply with a smile, "I'll be fine."
No, I may not feel OK now, and I'm not necessarily having the time of my life.
But I
will be strong, I will pick myself up, and I WILL be fine.
