Or, the fear of pain.
And much as we hate to admit to any signs of weakness revealed by the paralyzing emotion of fear, I gotta say I DEFINITELY have Agliophobia.
It's not something I think about often.
Considering the fact that we're young and fit and relatively healthy, we do not frequently encounter run-ins with that Fear Factor, Pain. It's not like we cut ourselves on purpose, or smack our knees against sharp furniture edges alot (unless you're a bit of a klutz...like me), or have to go for major ops. So no, it doesn't cross my mind alot.
Until this morning, when I accidentally gave myself a scissor cut while doing something.
And the first thought that sprang into my mind was: "Oh shucks! It'sgonnahurtit'sgonnahurt!"
My heartbeats picked up speed, just a tad.
I paused and braced myself martyr-like for the pain to accompany the smudge of red I saw on my fingers.
And felt nothing.
And looked down at my hand again, puzzled.
Ermm.. is something wrong with me? Isn't it supposed to hurt? Did I turn into an angel overnight and didn't know?
But weirdly enough, this was one cut that didn't hurt. A little discomfort, yes, but not the throbbing pain I envisioned.
And as I went my way, recalling the several "cutting" instances I experienced when younger which probably contributes to my little phobia problem now, it made me wonder if this fear of getting hurt physically reflects subtly on the relationships we have with others.
Does the instinctive recoil from disappointment or heartache cause barriers in the way we relate to those around us?
Does the dread of being taken advantage of hold us back from giving more freely of ourselves?
Does it cause us to "take caution when it comes to love" with valid reason?
They say, Once bitten, twice shy.
So how do we find the balance between thoughtless head-over-heels and overly-guarded mind-over-heart in this THING called love?
Much as we like to dress it up in glitter, and use the term"falling in love" like as if we just couldn't help it, I believe the truth is that we DO have a choice when it comes to loving someone.
Love leaves you vulnerable to heartache. It means that you are giving with the possibility of never receiving. Love is choosing to let your guard down and reveal your truest self to the person you love, giving him the ability to hurt you but trusting him not to. Love is working at a relationship even if you've been disappointed and let down time and again, because you think that person is worth your time and investment or capable of bringing you happiness when with him.
End of the matter? We have to choose what we win or lose; we can't have everything.
No relationship is perfect. No relationship is free of occasional misunderstandings or disappointments or anger or hurt. What's important is that we not let the fear of being hurt hold us back from creating wonderful relationships with those around us.
And if we think as Leona Lewis does, then it doesn't matter how much pain you might face ahead of you... as long as you are happy.
**The pieces of the puzzle are coming together...Countdown to her 21st has begun!**
