Facing the Fear Factor

So I'm perched atop the kid's spiderweb in the neighborhood park near my home. 

At 3AM, the roads are silent, there is a pleasant night breeze, and the stars spot the inky black sky above randomly, like as if some child had dabbled with a white crayon. 

It is the perfect time for self-reflection.

Reflection about the choices we make in life. 

Why we do or don't do certain things.  The reasoning processes that we go through when faced with a tough decision.  The struggle between the heart and the brain when it comes to one's personal happiness.

And the more I ponder about it, I realize that in just about every single life scenario I can think of, the underlying factor that paralyzes our actions is FEAR. 

Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of rejection. Fear of what people might say. Fear of pain. Fear of losing out or losing face. Fear of taking risks. Fear of stepping out of our comfort zone. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of consequences.

Let me just add here, that fear in itself is not necessarily bad.  Fear can be a deterrent to worse things.  It is the fear of punishment by the law that keeps many people from doing what is wrong.  It is fear of lung cancer that deters some people from smoking.  It is fear of dying that stops more people from taking their own lives when they are at their lowest point, because of "the dread of something after death, the undiscover'd country from whose bourn no traveller returns," as Shakespeare described so deftly in his famous poem "To Be or Not To Be."

The fear I refer to is the kind that handicaps our progress in life.  The kind where we will give a million excuses to ourselves and others as to why we will not do a certain thing, and they will sound PERFECTLY LOGICAL to us, simply because we would not admit - even to ourselves - that we are afraid.

There are so many examples I can think of. 

Individuals who shy away from public speaking because they are afraid to make a fool of themselves in front of people, and eventually lose out on opportunities in PR or communication jobs and more.  

Individuals who do not dare to stand out in performance even if they are capable of doing so, because they are afraid of the vicious tongues of jealous people. 

Individuals who dream of setting up their own businesses, but eventually never take the first giant step of an entrepreneur because they are worried about the risks - Will their business be successful or even make it?  Should they abandon a comfortably paying, stable job for a business venture which will take atleast a few years to stabalize before making a profit?  

Are we passing by moments of golden opportunity in our life because we are afraid of failure?

Or are there instances where we sacrifice our own happiness and would rather say nothing because we are afraid to risk rejection from someone whom we actually care for?

Are there certain relationships in our lives that are suffering because we refuse to say sorry, we are afraid to lose face?

It is human and natural to FEEL the emotion of fear. 

But what is more important is that we need to IDENTIFY the fear.

And then, if it is something that is holding us back from achieving our fullest potential, we need to CONQUER it. 

At the end of the day, we need to remember that life is short.  So what if we make mistakes?  So what if we fail the first try, or the second, or even the third?  So what if we face rejections?  So what if we have to swallow our pride at times?  So what if we may need to endure cruel, false words from people who do not actually know us or who we are?  So what???

Because, really.... what do we have to lose?  

If rejection, then so be it.  We pick ourselves up and we move on.  If failure, then nevermind.  We will try again, and not give up.  If people talk, let them.  All that matters is that you remain true to yourself.

And that is my conclusion of the matter.  Rather than letting it hold us back, we need to harness fear, to push us to achieve greater things and fight for our happiness and success. 

After all, I don't want to live a life full of regrets and "what if"s.  I want to be able to look back and know that I tried my best at every turn, that I never let any opportunity slip through my fingers simply because I was too fainthearted to step up to the challenge.  

I know that all throughout my life, in the days ahead, I am going to wage a continuous war against this monster.  And I accept that some of the battles, I might lose.  

But for tonight...I WIN.